Ramsay: The Other White Meat

I can't believe I couldn't find a pic of Gordon Ramsay topless for this week's posting. The man makes a point of showing off his unshaped, blond-haired chest every episode, urgently addressing the camera sotto voce, as if he is so pressed for time he's willing to expose his nipples to air if that's what it takes to save another American restaurant.

But hey, the skin excites me. And it sort of worked for last nights' theme when we got to see the nips revealed in Tuckahoe, NY, home of the Olde Stone Mill. Like all establishments that put an unnecessary 'e' on its name, this one is only managing to attract senior citizens and lost tourists.

The owner Dean and the chef Mike look like the sibling love children of Billy Joel and Danny Bonaduce. Mike seems like a pretty good chef who cooks crappy food. Dean seems like maybe (maybe) he might have a slight anger management issue. But I probably would too if I'd sunk myself a half million dollars in debt for a restaurant in a place called Tuckahoe.

The hostess is yet again a bottle blond sextegenerian who should be swilling gin on a shuffleboard in Florida instead of waiting tables every day (would someone please give Americans health care so their grandmothers can retire for god's sake?). She says Mike "tries to presentate the food real well" which confirms it's been about 6 decades since the woman was in a schoolhouse. That said, you can tell she was a real looker.

Ramsay determines the Stone Mill's salvation lies in steak, which, seriously, is like where everyone's salvation lies. I mean, after a baseball steak and four Keg-sized glasses of house wine, who hasn't seen a little flash of heaven?

Dean, habituated in his raging ways, explodes at Gordon's suggestion, then a man-talk park-walk with Ramsay, and presto, the Olde Stone Mill is transformed and the meat-munching mayor is happy.