ANTM: I See Scary Girls

So far this season, American Idol and America's Next Top Model have taught us one thing: Puerto Ricans are cool, but not cool enough.

Both series have had spirited P.R.'s as top thirteen finalists, and both were the second contestant eliminated. Maybe it's because none of us are sure exactly how Puerto Rico fits into the American political landscape. Is it a state? A dominion? It's own independent country? We know it's hot and sunny and we'd all like to be there right now, but would we pay for our tropical drinks with American dollars?

In a refreshing twist of sincerity, this season of ANTM has decided to forgo any pretense of looking for genuine model material (was this ever the objective?) and just cast a bunch of weirdos. How else to explain Allison, the bug-eyed blood lover who was named winner of the first photo shoot? I keep waiting for a giant lizard tongue to snap out of her mouth to snag a fly.

Also, has anyone caught the ANTM casting call for next season? Tyra is looking for models...under 5"7. Because there is such huge demand in Milan for designer dwarfs??

You know Tyra is just looking for a way to combine midgets, high heels and a slippery cat walk. I called it here first!