Born to be First

For those of you who rank first in your family's pecking order, good news!

You's the smartest!

For those of you who have one or more older
sibling(s), get over it.

Seriously.

You got way cooler gifts at Christmas, which totally makes up for the fact that you have a lower IQ and mom and pops never took pictures of you because by then the novelty of children had totally worn off.