I said I would write about The Biggest Loser: Couples but first my PVR sabotaged my efforts and then, well, the increasing lameness of the show made recapping it seem more drudgery than fun.

In fact, this season is so lame even the producers have taken to mocking the contestants. This week the yellow team (and word to the white fat folks-don't ever wear yellow. It makes you look like a cartoon character) was pitted against the rest of the teams. Paul, the ex on the yellow team, put on his shaolin monk jacket and got all kung-fu (as kung-fu as one can get wearing a silk jacket about to split at the seams). From there on, every time Paul was on camera, Chinese bongs resonated as if at any moment he was going to fly like a crouching tiger.

The only interesting revelation this week (beyond Paul's karate delusions) was that Paul has a girlfriend. I sort of wiped my eyes for a second, like, huh? Dude, you've been romancing your ex-wife since the second you got on this show! That girlfriend of yours is going to be losing 250 pounds of her own when you get back, if you hear what I'm saying.

In the end, the pink team went home. It seems like no one on the show really likes anyone else, and most of the girls don't seem to be trying that hard (with the exception of the two that got booted off).

What can I say? Couples don't work. Working in pairs eliminates the team spirit and keeps people trapped in unhealthy dynamics.

Um, that didn't quite come out right.