Drunk Seal Claims Penguin Wanted It

After two weeks on hiatus, I return only to discover seals are as sexually discerning as drunk frosh boys.

Yes, a fur seal in Antartica was caught on tape trying to have sex with a king penguin.

"At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin," says Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa.

What is so especially awesome about the BBC article is how it describes the cross-species rape in tabloid journalistic form.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

No word on whether or not charges will be laid.