ANTM Ends With Bangs, Not a Winner

After weeks of committed recaps of everyone's favourite show, I fell short of the finish line and denied you the catty thrill of reliving the ANTM finale.

I'm sorry.

Last Wednesday, while millions gathered round to watch Chantal, Jenah and Saleisha 'compete' for the top spot, I was biting my nails in the back of a Lincoln Town Car, willing the driver to mow down Manhattanites in order to get me to a TV.

I tuned in at the exact moment Jenah was handed the kiss of death and all will to blog was extinguished.

Yes, I watched the remaining 25 minutes and I even took notes, but now, a week later, who cares? The bowl cut won. Chantal came in second. The order of the universe has forever been undone.

I will note that I found the final runway competition totally slanted to favour Saleisha (short cute outfits versus the straitjacket of a dress Chantal had to shuffle along in) and Tyra's langorous runway saunter made me taste chunks in the back of my throat. But is any of this even remotely shocking?

When Heather left this season, it was like someone licked all the icing off the cake and then it turned out the cake was actually just a foam brick and even when you sucked on it, all you could taste was sponge.

Thank god for Christmas. By the time we all sober up it will be a new year and if the rumours are true, America's Next Top Model Cycle 10 begins late February.

Have a wonderful holiday, folks. And if you're so inclined, continue to check into this site for updates on all things entertaining and eye-roll inducing.