The Hills Have Spies

Over the last few weeks I have debated the merits of posting on The Hills which, for those of you who read books instead of magazines, is a show on MTV that is basically saving the channel from total extinction.

I decided against writing about The Hills, mainly because it would necessitate watching it every week and that's sort of like committing to regular binge-drinking. Sure, you just might happen to drink 10 vodka sodas every Friday night, but if you actually planned it, well, that would make you an alcoholic.

Caveat aside, I AM doing a Hills posting today because I accidentally PVR'ed this week's episode (lie). In a nutshell: a bunch of pretty girls and boys in LA get followed by cameras that supposedly catch them in random moments living their real lives. This week, Gavin (a cute model) asks Lauren (the lead) out on a date and her friend-with-benefits Brody gets jealous.

See? Just writing that summary makes me feel dirty. Anyway, Gavin recently interviewed with an old chum about his experiences being on the show. And while it is not at all surprising to discover that all the scenes and storylines are set up by the producers, Gavin's interview reminded me why I hate Cultural Studies graduate students.

This quote appeared an article in the Globe and Mail last month:

"What I enjoy most about The Hills is seeing things represented on television that I have never before seen represented on television," writes Justin Wolfe, a recent English graduate from Florida State University, who keeps a blog about the show. "... I mean in the micro sense: the small gestures and body movements, the casual poses, the verbal tics, word repetitions and vocal inflections; all the things that colour the fabric of everyday existence. The Hills , by foregrounding what is unnoticed, defamiliarizes it. It makes what's completely normal feel strange."

If, as according to John Erksine, we have a moral obligation to be intelligent, do we not also have an obligation not to waste that intelligence on crap like The Hills? I mean, I am not opposed to people watching it, or gossiping about it, but when you apply theoretical language to an analysis of it, you are using your powers for evil instead of good.

You just know there are dozens of masters theses being scribed at this very moment, describing The Hills po-mo decentering of popular domestic representations. Ugh.