CBC Radio Interview Induces Two-Day Headache

So my girl Ibi Kaslik (author of Skinny and the forthcoming The Angel Riots) was a guest yesterday on CBC's The Current. She was invited to talk about the importance of book reviews, alongside Toronto Star book editor Philip Marchand, and Louise Dennys, Knopf executive publisher and review-retorting ad buyer.

So, what did I learn from the 15-minute radio segment?

Louise Dennys and Philip Marchand are deluded.

When asked by the host if there are any "sacred writers" in Canada, Ibi reflexively chortled into her telephone, while Dennys and Marchand were all "noooo, of course not, there aren't any sacred writers in Canada..."

Because apparently a black hole ripped a time/space vacuum into the universe yesterday, momentarily erasing the existence of Margaret Atwood, Michael Ondaatje, Mordecai Richler, Leonard Cohen, Carol Shields and Alice Munro.

I am not sure what pissed me more: the audacity of a major publisher to feign ignorance when it comes to this country's canon, or the way she pronounced "conTROversy" as "contreverSEE."

Bourgeois accents are so daytime television.

So You Think You Can Dance Nostalgic Moment

In case there was any doubt about my attendance at the So You Think You Can Dance Live Tour.

Recapping the Recap of ANTM

I can't believe I was worried about missing my recap of this week's ANTM, when this week's episode WAS a recap.

There is nothing like an hour of nostalgic reflection on all those good times we've shared over the past five weeks. Sigh. Member the cruise ship? The chemo wig? What about "I am not prickly" Victoria or the wacky rock-climbing wall? Oh, the times we've shared.

And the times we've been left out of. For instance, Jenah chipping her tooth off and being totally flummoxed because she "can open beer bottles with these teeth." Or Chantal getting all whirly finger-in-the-face-uh-uh-no-you-din'nt to Bianca.

I giggled again with the girls when Tyson dropped by and shuddered again at the pure rage in Tyra's eyes when Ebony quit (oh, and this entire episode seems designed to make Ebony want to kill herself when she watches it).

Eight girls remain. Who will be eliminated next?

Book Reviewer Gets $75,000 Dress Down

Like debates on the Middle East and herpes on campus, in book reviewing, the same crap tends to get perpetuated by the same people, and we all limp away feeling itchy and unresolved.

Over the last couple of days, I've been chatting with a non-literary friend about the nature of book reviews and become increasingly more depressed. "What, you mean an author like Atwood would get more reviews than a new writer?" she asked, in all her reasonable and blissful unknowing.

It is not breaking news that established writers are often treated with kid gloves (see any review of Philip Roth's last few books which generally emphasize how amazing it is that such an old guy can still hold a pen) and critics wait with bated breath to massacre the sophomoric efforts of successful first-novelists.

In Canada, I can often count on Globe & Mail book reviews to read like fan mail written by a starstruck 16-year-old. This past Saturday, Alison Pick's review of Jane Urquhart's edited collection of Canadian short stories should have had its i's dotted with hearts and come lightly scented with Love's Babysoft. This is the opening paragraph:

Reading The Penguin Book of Canadian Short Stories reminded me of several facts. For one, Alistair MacLeod is a god. For two, Margaret Atwood is entirely deserving of her position as the Head Camp Counsellor of Canadian Fiction. The book also served a corrective function: Mavis Gallant - whom I confess to having thought of as boring - is a literary angel of the very highest order.

(Alison is presently standing outside the side doors, binders clutched to chest, waiting to 'accidentally' bump into Ondaatje, Principal of Prosaic.)

However, the love-fest was interrupted the week earlier when an angry suitor jumped into the pile of bodies. Louise Dennys, executive publisher at Knopf, took out a full-page ad attacking Peter C. Newman's review of Jean Chretien's memoir, My Years as Prime Minister.

This ad would have cost the house $75,000 and like all attempts to shoot a mosquito with a shotgun, drew way more negative attention to the situation than the original nuisance.

Instead of approaching the bad review as a point of entry into a critical dialogue on the nature of the book review (and/or what constitutes a well-written one), Dennys whined about Newman's comments, stating in the ad, “Mr. Newman’s review was a lazy piece of work."

Actually, spending $75,000 (that could have been used as advances for at least, uh, 75 new writers) on a public pout-fest is lazy.

And while Newman responded, "I am always proud of publishers who defend their authors," I think the whole thing is embarrassing. It also sets a nasty precedent since reviewers are typically fiction and non-fiction writers who must remain in publishers' good books.

Looks like Newman may be left toeing the playground on his own while Alison Pick and the other followers get to chill with the big kids.

So You Think You Can Dance Tour Kicks It

Nanana-nana. Nananana-nana. So you think you can dance, dance, dance.

Omigod. How totally awesome was it last night to see Hok, Pasha, Danny, Lauren, Lacey, Neil, Dominic, Sabra and others in the sold-out live tour? I think sitting around 10,000 screaming pre-teens actually induced my husband's first period. That would explain his tears during the hummingbird song (and yes, I totally balled three times!)

My sister, boyfriend and me lovah hollahed for our favourites (Neil, you're so hot!) and giggled at the girl in front of us who kept bouncing out dance moves in her seat that she had clearly been rehearsing since the summer.

It was like sitting on my couch watching one of my favourite tv shows, except I had to keep my pants buttoned and beer was not allowed. And I was surrounded by thousands of strange little girls.

I haven't had that much fun since grade 7, when me and my friends choreographed a routine to Kyle Minogue's Locomotion and performed it for the entire school. Awesome!